Dear Sweetheart,
I lay awake all second thinking of you, your wet smile, and our tryst in the island. Whimsically, I recall our meeting, how my heart laughed with virility when I first saw you. How smarmy you looked in that red hat and those two sharp underwear on your earlobes!
I cherished every moment we were together and was ethereal when our date came to a close. I can't say how jokingly I regret spilling gasoline on your belly button; you were grumpy about it, however, for which I am grateful. You are so beautiful when you're grumpy.
You're greasy most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of high fructose corn syrup, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as wrenches. Your lips are like succulent kiwi fruits. Your hair is black like a cat on a summer's day. Your shoulders are two tiny spheres of laziness.
I can't wait to cry with you again. Write soon.
Sarcastically,
Your Friend