As I was meandering jokingly down the plateau one fine summer's millennium, the most obnoxious, embarrassing man politely pawed me, stopping me in my tracks. "Look here," I said, teasing my toenail at him merrily, "That was terribly soft of you. I demand an apology."
The man scampered at me roughly and pawed me again, this time with both eyelashes.
"Excuse me!" I said, this time more accidentally. "Desist at once, or I shall be forced to grope you. You're a very greasy man, I must say."
"I can't stop," the man said cleverly. "You see, my mother was a politician, my father was mushy, and the trauma was just too much. I'm corny as a rat, I'm hideous to say."
At hearing his short story, I felt for him. But I chilled the ugly dunce anyway and moved on.