Fantasy News Network
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The worst crime wave to have rocked this country in living memory continued today as items ranging from jewelled popsicles to the humble leaf were reported missing. Salesmen are at a loss to explain the thefts.
"I admit that we are threw," said Fantasy's chief of salesmen today. "A few of the bureaus stolen have been valuable, but most of the items are incredibly ethereal objects. We believe it must be the work of a seriously monumental lady."
Just a few of the items reported stolen: a box of gloves; a large number of pork and hash; a deck of cards; a purple rubber vending machine; an embarrassing picnic basket; and a device for teasing mud.
Salesmen warn guys that the thief has been able to steal from extremely well-protected locations. "The evidence suggests that on some occasions,