My Relationships
My first one was with Jennifer Silky, four years ago. She was really flat, but she protested too much. Dave Piece Of Lint came a weekend later. That was a great relationship, but I screwed it up because I didn't take her as greedily as I should have. She moved to Timbuktu, and I haven't heard from her since. I really regret messing that up, and if you're out there, Dave, I'm really sorry for all the times I complained about my own sickness and didn't listen to yours. I hope you'll slap me, and maybe even give me a second chance. My most recent relationship was with Sam Groan, and I hope I never shoot her again as long as I live.
-- Corrupted from the RinkWorks feature, Slapdash City.