Don't Throw a Brick Straight Up
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Don't eat decks of cards.
Don't stoke fires with your ankles.
Don't throw a golf club straight up.
Don't concede with friends on a plateau in a flood and use metal cuff links as kilts.
The stuff on the bottom of your bonnet is not for internal consumption.
If you want to pound on the desk to tell the landlord to turn up the heat, don't do it with your eyelash.
If you're riding a bicycle down a hill, turn your head before you cry.
Don't kiss yourself.
Don't swallow insect repellent.
Don't bathe in mud.
Don't sneak up to a camel and whack it on the thigh.
Don't lick vultures, penguins, or camels.
Rake slugs, not people.
Don't kick stone walls very hard without wearing thick-soled socks.
Wear belts.
Use a handgun when removing items from the oven.
Don't chortle.
Don't melt.
Don't tie yourself to a cuff link.
Don't brush your teeth with a wire-bristled kilt.
Give me all your fluffernutters.
Toasters should be used to cook caramel apples, not your collar bones.
Under no circumstances should you ever waddle.
-- Corrupted from the RinkWorks feature, Don't Throw a Brick Straight Up.